The Language of Love
Great, another personality trait typing test is in the books! Had I not previously known who I was, I would have no excuses for not knowing following these past seven weeks! Actually though, this week’s assessment was somewhat different and more personal than the previous the week’s experiences. Having my wife take the Love Languages test was as much fun as it was interesting. However, there were no surprises amongst us. We each know who we are and what we do and do not like. Most importantly, we are not afraid to talk about and tackle any issues that are looming on the horizon. There are no fester files containing unresolved issues in the Isherwood household. Both of us truly believe that our problems will not get better through time or distance, therefore we address them in the here and now. Our mantra is quite simple, “if something does not seem right, most likely it is not, so let’s talk about it”.
When I asked my wife if she would be willing to participate in a class project with me, she of course looked at me with skepticism. As I explained to her what was required and told her about the Five Love Languages she began to look more enthusiastic about her participation. Her newly found enthusiasm of course now drew suspicion on my part. As it turns out, my wife is well versed in the Five Love Languages and has The Five Love Languages book by Gary Chapman to prove it! Sitting next to each other on the couch we embarked on our Love Language journey. It was quite funny to each of us hearing one and other grumbling about a particular pair of questions. We had previously agreed not to help each other and to just go with the best answer. She of course finished before me, I was busy analyzing each of the questions searching for any hidden meanings or other traps that would cause me grief in the future. To my chagrin, there were no tricks and it really was a pretty straight forward questionnaire.
As it turns out, both my wife and I have Quality Time as our primary Love Language. The interpretation provided by the assessment tool states, “In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there–with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby–makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful” (5LoveLanguages.com, 2007). It is not surprising to either of us that we each speak in the same Love Language. What was remarkable to me was how close that our answers were to each others. Words of Affirmation, her 7, me 8. Quality time, her 12, me 11. Receiving Gifts, her 4, me 0. Acts of Service, her 0, me 4. Physical Touch, her 7, me 7. The inverse responses for Receiving Gifts and Act of Service are easily explained by the roles that we each play in our household relationship. As team Isherwood, we equally...