Personal Narrative A Seinfeld Addict's Dream Come True

3227 words - 13 pages

Personal Narrative- A Seinfeld Addict's Dream Come True

My heart ached. As constant as the waves of the sea slap the rocks, so the emptiness lurked. The icy hand of desperation wrapped me up and constricted. I was suffocating in that dismal abyss of loathsome sitcoms. I lamented but nobody heard, my pain had no companions.

"No! Why? Why? Why?" I cried. I dropped down on my knees and flailed my arms wildly. My lamentation sliced through the air like a blade through butter. "Worry not Michael, there is counseling available." my mom replied. "This is way beyond counseling mother!" I retorted. "Don't you realize that Seinfeld is going of the air? Seinfeld isn't coming back, and there's nothing anyone can do."

Mom tried to soothe me. "There's always other shows, maybe Veronica's Closet would appeal to you."

"Veronica's Closet! Veronica's Closet! I would rather be crushed in the gears of a combine than spend thirty minutes of my life viewing that sorry sitcom." I huffed. "There will never be another show like Seinfeld." I stomped off to wallow in my own self pity like a pig in warm mud.

There was no sleep in store for me that night. I was tormented by my own demons. I was agonized by the thought of blank Thursdays. Discomfort held hands with the black of night, and the black of night greeted me with a sour embrace.

The next morning, it was such a strenuous struggle to rise from my bed, I could have sworn I had been lying in quicksand all night. Walking in school was like swimming in a thick marsh. I had nothing to look forward to. Thursdays used to be the greatest day of the week, but now, all Thursdays held was gloom. That day, all I knew was despair, and it smothered me. This went on until I met up with a friend of mine, Ben was his name. "Mike, have courage and fend off despair's siege." Ben consoled. "It's not all over, we can keep the Seinfeld dream alive. I know your pain. I too have been intimate with agony."

"How? How can you possibly know what I'm going through? I know you liked Seinfeld, but I loved it, Ben." I rasped. "Besides, there is no way to keep the Seinfeld dream alive. Everyone knows Jerry quit and he won't come back for any sum of money."

"That's the thing Mike, we can work around that. My plan doesn't involve Jerry Seinfeld signing any contracts; we just have to persevere and have ambition." Ben convinced.

"This sounds too easy Ben, but I'll do whatever it takes to keep the Seinfeld dream alive. What is this venture you speak of?" I asked.

"There is a fabled island just off the Atlantic coast called Duergar. This arcane island, is said to bear every Seinfeld episode on tape, uncut and unedited." Ben answered.

I smiled at the perfect thought, but then a pang of paranoia shot through me. I seized my friend by the throat and backed him against the wall. "If you are fabricating this, I fail to see the comedy. Deceive me not, Ben. But if you are true, then I shall be in debt to you for the rest of...

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