Be in the Market without Being the Market
At one time in Debra's life, she thought that all the odds of love were against her. She spent many nights thinking why she even tried to find a man. She thought about all the times she suspected that he might be "the one". He might have had the perfect smile or the perfect clothes. He might have taken her to the fanciest restaraunts or bought her the most expensive gifts. But one thing was for sure, all of these men left Debra feeling empty. She tried so hard to be that "perfect women" that all the magazines and talk-shows portrayed. She always shopped at the most expensive stores and wore the colors that Vogue told her were "in season". Looking at her you would have thought she walked straight out of a catalogue. She thought she was the woman that all men longed for, that men wanted to be with. But she was wrong, quite wrong.
One relationship really imparticular stuck in her mind. His name was James. James was a bank manager at one of the local banks. He was gorgeous and Debra remembers thinking that they would have beautiful children together. He seemed like the plain type. The type to sit home on a Saturday in front of the television. He didn't dress too exciting, but he was suitable to her taste. There was just something about him that she was attracted to. She couldn't quite pick it out, but she knew that he had something special to offer her. She tried to make him fit into her "world" of nice clothes, exciting weekends and expensive dinners. She would always hint things at him like, "Are you sure you want to wear those shoes with that tie?" or "Do we really have to go to that cheap restartaunt?" But James just wanted to be who he was and he was comfortable with that. But Debra wasn't.
She remembers the night that he broke it off with her. One thing that he said changed Debra's life forever. They had gotten in a huge fight about where they were going to eat. Debra wanted to go to this fancy little cafe downtown and James wanted to go to Friday's. "Debra," he said in a stern, yet gentle voice, "you need to stop this craziness! I am a human, you are a human. You are Debra, not Cindy Crawford or Martha Stewart. I am James, not Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. I can't live in your fantasy world any longer. These past 7 months I have learned a lot from you. I have learned how to not be materialistic, not to try to impress too much and not to be so fake. You possess all these qualities and that is why it's over. I have been real with you for our whole relationship, you on the other hand have made yourself into some magazine picture without any thoughts of her own. I want a women who accepts herself as who she is and not who the world wants her to be. A women who is beautiful on the inside and outside. A woman who gives totally of herself and does not let worldy possessions to do it for her."
She remembers yelling as he walked away from her, "But I thought you loved...